It’s all about the hair ... or is it?

Javier Aranda hair and make-up design

There is so much I can share with you today.  I can write about my recent wheat elimination, the workshops I am facilitating, the amazing people I am attracting into my life, and all the creativity that’s blooming around here.  Instead, I chose to write about my daughter’s recent haircut.

She knew exactly what she wanted.  She had the picture in her hand to show the hairdresser (not the one shown here) and was already feeling just how amazing her new “look” was going to be.  

Instead, there were tears, stomping, text messages to friends (asking for sympathy), and more tears.

We’ve all been there, especially us gals.  Our hair is so much a part of our identity; it’s an extension of who we are and how we want to be seen. Some of us choose to show our authenticity by revealing our shades of grey, while others embellish with colors of the rainbow, tinsel, extensions, and feathers to show who we really are (or want to be).

So, back to my daughter’s tears, the agony she put my husband and me though over the weekend, and her disappointment of having to go to school today with the bangs she does not want.  The bangs that she did want are the ones that hang over to one side and cover one eye.  The truth is, her bangs looks nice.  Actually, I think they look great (when she leaves them alone).  They are not botched up, cut too short or uneven.  She got a good haircut.   


The real issue is, they are not what she visualized for herself.

For my daughter, the issue is all about the bangs.  It’s about her identity.  It’s about how she wants to be seen. 

For me, the issue has very little to do with her bangs.  For me, it’s all about her feelings.  Am I giving her enough space to feel what she needs to feel?  Do I stop telling her how great they look and empathize more?  I know I’ve been present for her.  I’ve listened to her, cuddled with her, and blown and flat ironed the bangs out several times over the weekend.  So, how much time do I allow her to grieve before I tell her to SNAP OUT OF IT?   Really ...  I’m almost there.

The one thing that I do know for sure is that I am glad I resisted putting the “for a special occasion hostess treat” in her lunch box, to help make her feel better, today.  I know she will feel better in her own sweet time.  Hopefully, it will be before the bangs fully grow out.