Monday, November 29, 2010

what's your sign?


They are all around us. Some tell us where to go, how fast we can go, and when to stop.

Some we inherit at birth that link us to our astronomical destiny.
Others are quiet whispers that come to us through our intuitive mind. They alert us to danger, while others can provide us with solutions.

A friend of mine insists that when she asks the Universe a soul-searching question, she miraculously receives answers and guidance in the form of a passing license plate or a street sign. It could be one simple word or a number that shows up for her as a “sign”.

I recently read a story written by Melody Ross that was posted on her “Brave Girl Club” blog. It really touched my heart and made me think of the stuff we carry around that others may not be aware of. Many of us walk around with smiles on our faces that camouflage the sad stuff that we carry in our hearts. For some, the greater the pain, the bigger the smile is to protect the scars and wounds that we carry within us.

What would life be like if we wore signs? Signs that would tell everyone around us what is going on in our lives. They would alert others to know what we are feeling, experiencing, and needing from one another. They would allow us to really connect with each other.

Think about what your interaction could be like with the cashier at the grocery store if you knew that her child was really sick, and how worried she was, or the waitress who’s husband just left her and how scared she is for her family, or your boss who just found out that his wife has breast cancer and how he fears the unknown. Yes, stop and think for a minute. Imagine how different our interactions could be. We could be so much more conscious with each other if we were able to wear our signs on our hearts so that the world could really see what we are feeling and experiencing. We could be so much more for each other.
What is your sign that you want the world to see?

Saturday, November 20, 2010

i am enough



When I first stared at the words, “I AM ENOUGH”, I saw three words that when woven together in this sequence, were very overwhelming for me. “I am enough” illustrates a sense of wholeness, confidence, self-love, contentment, success, and acceptance. “I am enough” is what we all aspire to be.
As I continued to stare at these words, the letters began to dance around in my head like scrabble tiles as they assembled the question that I ask myself all too often, “AM I ENOUGH”? This question magnified the doubt, lack, disappointment, intimidation, and every other feeling of inadequacies I have known.?
As I took a deep breath and exhaled these feelings, I yearned to surrender to my authentic voice so that I could empower my pen to write this piece.
During this process, the first voice I heard within me was the child who mumbled the bits and pieces from her memories of wanting to please others… of trying so hard to be a “good girl“… waiting for approval …being the older sibling who should ”know better,” …and being told when and how to feel.
Next, I heard the rebellious teen as she slammed the door behind her. Remnants of “you don’t follow directions… you don’t pay attention… and you don’t apply your self in school” still echoed in her head. So, she just went along and applied herself in other places. Some good… some not so good.
Both the child and the teen spent many days and nights in the strawberry pink and lime green bedroom flipping through and examining every teeny bopper, seventeen, cosmo, and all of the other glossy filled magazines of the “how tos” and “do nots” of how she should live her life. Even with all the expert advice, she wanted so much to believe that she too could have less break-outs and clearer skin, shinier hair with less split ends, less bloating and lighter periods, get invited to more parties, get better grades, be more popular in school, and capture the heart of that really cute and cool guy. She wanted so much to be one of those pretty, slim, perfect, social and happy girls who existed in those magazines. But, the reality was, she could never be one of those girls. She just wasn’t enough to live up to the impossible and unrealistic portrait of what others have painted for her.
Today, when I hear that voice, am I enough? I ask myself, “whose voice is talking to me? Who is making me feel afraid…lonely,,,small? Is it my voice? My parents? Teachers? The voice of the media?
And as I evolve, the story that was created for me also evolves. Some of it true, and some still not so true … and at some point I realized that most of the beliefs I carry are not mine. They have been passed on to me. Today, I know I can rewrite my story by simply releasing outdated and self-limiting patterns and beliefs, so that I can continue to move towards my greatness, my light, my authentic self.
It’s when we shift our negative beliefs into positive ones; we can swim out of the shallow, mucky, waters and navigate past the waves, and go deep into the clear sparkles of our authenticity. And as we become more of who we are, we can propel past our fears and take action. We can excavate ourselves out from being stuck in the observer mode and into the role of an active participant …we are able to free ourselves so that we can be more of our self.
And as I continue to release myself from judgment, fear, doubt, and distractions, and into self-love and acceptance, I bring more joy, more love and more light into the essence of my being.
And here are the beliefs I embrace today...
*The best way to feel good about myself is to complete something that I have been avoiding and putting off.
*Words are powerful ~~ When I eliminate the should haves, would haves, and could haves, I stay strong in my power of NOW
*Every compliment deserves a “THANK YOU”. A compliment is too precious to be minimized. It must be owned.
*That perfect haircut will not change my life, and lipstick will not complete me.
*Being authentic is knowing how to say “YES” when I want to and “NO” when I mean to.
*Everything may not be completed, and some things may never get started. Life is an ongoing process. And, I continue to strive to be at peace with that.
*I can look within myself for messages, guidance, direction, and answers, and I know that at anytime I can “rewrite” my story.
And, as I look at myself in the mirror today, I mean, really look at my self, not at the flaws, or the things that need to be plucked or fixed, I see my lips move and I hear the words as they reflect back to me…
I am enough.



This piece was written for a collaborative entitled, "I am enough", and appeared on Tracey Clark's blog.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

the crack

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it started as a small hairline crack, barely noticeable. only she knew it was there.

as the years moved on, her foundation shifted in different directions, allowing her to become more grounded.

the stuff that was kept inside, hidden deep, could no longer stay buried. it found its way up to the surface and emerged.

eventually, nothing could be kept inside…

and on one glorious day she just cracked wide open.